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Sometimes the relationship actually gets stronger over time as the partners develop compassion and understanding for one another.If the man is gay, the relationship has less of a chance of survival.The women feel differently, of course, but the men only see that once their behavior is uncovered and they’re confronted.That said, I do see a lot of couples where the woman says she’s OK with the man continuing his behavior, as long as it’s only with other men.This population is the focus of his new and much needed book: .I am pleased that Joe has written this book, as I have had to deal with these questions in my own practice relatively often, as have many other therapists. Number one is the high incidence of male-female couples entering my office because the woman thinks her man might be gay. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason he’s been looking at gay porn or he’s been having sex with men. I should probably state up-front that these questions are based on my clinical experience, not on any scientific research, but I’ve been doing this for a very long time and I can assure you that these questions are definitely on-point. I also use what I call the “beach test.” I always joke with clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walking on the beach and checking people out, the women are in the way.Do the women always want the man’s same-sex behavior to stop?
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. An author and subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, he has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among others. your interviewee has noticed that when straight MSMs quit porn they often lose their taste for MSM? For some guys, it's just one more porn-induced fetish that fades after they quit porn.When a straight guy is giving oral sex, he doesn’t care what the other guy looks like. Women’s sexuality is more relational, whereas men’s sexuality is more about objectification. It’s the search for a father, the search for masculine connection. If the man is straight, the main goal is helping both parties understand why he’s been doing this.So this is a way of bonding with men – ironically, through sex – and it happens not because the man is gay but because he doesn’t know any other way to get this need met. My response is, “As a sex therapist, I have a duty to tell you that your anus doesn’t have a sexual orientation. So I try to help them understand that this is about sexual abuse, or father hunger, or kink, or some other unexpressed need.About a third of these mixed-orientation marriages end in divorce right away.In another third the couple stays together for two years and then divorces.